The last decade has
produced some incredible music. The following songs are not included in that
category. Here are ten of the worst songs of the last decade, spanning across
all genres, that make you wish you had brought your ear plugs to the club.
1. “Anaconda,”
Nicki Minaj
Borrowing one of the pivotal lines
from Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back,” Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda,” released over a
decade later in 2014, offers a remixed ode to big butts that absolutely nobody
asked for. The track centers around one line: “My Anaconda don’t want none
unless you got buns hun.”
2. “My
Humps,” Black Eyed Peas
Repetitive, vulgar, and with a beat
that gets stuck in your head despite your best efforts to avoid it, the Black
Eyed Peas’ “My Humps,” released in 2005, is just straight trash. Uncreative
lyrics rely on repeating “my hump” 33 times (yes, I counted), and referencing
Fergie’s milk and will.i.am’s cocoa puff mixing up to make “milky riiiiiight.”
3. “Call
Me Maybe,” Carly Rae Jepsen
An anthem for love at first sight,
“Call Me Maybe” shot Carly Rae Jepsen onto the scene – mainly after a YouTube
video of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez dancing to it went viral. The song was
somehow the best-selling single worldwide in 2012, which should really just
make us all ashamed. It also led guys everywhere to try to cheese their way
into a date with the line, “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s
my number, so call me maybe.”
4. “Sexy
and I Know It,” LMFAO
LMFAO isn’t fooling anybody when
they say they work out. “Sexy and I Know It” is a narcissist’s dream song,
seeing how the group talks up how everybody stops and stares at them while
you walk down the street. But the true crux of LMFAO’s work of art comes near
the end, with the masterful lyrics, “Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle,
wiggle, yeah.” Let that one ruminate a while.
5. “Harlem
Shake,” Baauer
Baauer’s “Harlem Shake” makes this
list if only for the insufferable internet trend of viral videos it set off.
People soon forgot what the real Harlem Shake dance looked like, which was
actually seriously cool. This song encouraged jumping around in stupid costumes
and calling it a day. The song also has maybe two different lines, which
consist of “Ey shake,” and, “Do the Harlem Shake.” Oh, and, “Con los terroristas,”
for whatever reason.
6. “Crank
Dat,” Soulja Boy Tell’Em
In a similar camp as “Harlem Shake”
for its dance moves, Souja Boy Tell’Em’s 2007 debut single “Crank Dat” may have
been nominated for a Grammy Award, but should be ashamed for lines such as,
“Then super man that [explicit].” Basically, anytime you hear the telling
“Youuuuuuuuu!” come on at the club, just sit down and wait it out. It’s better
than bumping around with all the wannabe rap stars who think they’re thugs for
being able to do a quick two-step and lean-back.
7. “Friday,”
Rebecca Black
In the prime example of how YouTube
stardom can go terribly, terribly wrong, Rebecca Black’s “Friday” has over 72
million views – in which 80 percent of rankings gave it a “dislike.” The
notoriously auto-tuned song gets it wrong on so many levels, from lyrics like,
“Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday, Today is Friday, Friday,” followed by,
“Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes after…wards, to Black’s questionable
vocal ability. Then there’s the truly painful music video which makes this
song’s inclusion on the list a no-brainer.
8. “Baby,”
Justin Bieber
The lead single on his debut album,
Justin Bieber’s “Baby” gave 12-year-old girls everywhere a reason to catch Bieber
Fever. But nobody, I repeat, absolutely nobody else, should ever have a reason
to listen to this song. Basically, Justin’s whining about the girl that broke
his heart – but that might have been because you thought singing “Baby, baby,
baby oooh” would make her swoon. Collaborating on this song may also constitute
Ludacris’ greatest mistake in his career. And this is the guy who also did “My
Chick Bad” with Nicki Minaj.
9. “Tik
Tok,” Ke$ha
Don’t get me wrong, I actually have
a lot of time for Ke$ha — see, some people listen to Ke$ha with their ears, I
listen to Ke$ha with my heart. However, her debut single, “Tik Tok,” is most
definitely not her best work. Plus, I was told by my housemates that I had to
include this one. But I guess when you brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack,
you’re just setting yourself up for failure.
10. “The
Reason,” Hoobastank
Hoobastank’s “The Reason” barely
makes the cut-off for this list, released back in 2004, but it most definitely
deserves its ranking. Basically, Hoobastank is talking about what a bad person
they were before, who definitely screwed somebody over time and time again, but
now is claiming they’ve changed. We’ve heard it all before, Hooba. I don’t care
that you found a “reason to start over new, and the reason is you,” – save it,
boys.
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